I have ALWAYS loved Christmas! The magic, the joy, the lights, the high of finding the perfect gift for someone you love and of course TRADITIONS!
We have some beautiful traditions in our family growing up - Christmas movies, driving around to see the lights on Christmas Eve, my dad wearing a red onesie and handing out the gifts under the tree on Christmas morning, a big seafood lunch with fresh prawns and oysters, the list goes on! As a couple Robbie and I have taken to new traditions with Matching PJs, Decorating the tree together (Rob also has an affinity for Elf Culture!) and working as a team to get the lights on the tree (now we have a prelim tree Im a bit sad this isn't a thing now!) BUT This year is a little bit more special New Traditions are something I am sooo excited to bring into our lives now that we have a little human. I'm literally sooo excited to share this joyous season with our little boy and he's already in LOVE with fairy lights so I'm pretty excited to take him on a drive around the festive neighbourhoods! A few new traditions we will introduce this year is leaving cookies and milk our for Santa, hunting for reindeer food (I think a little bush walk to collect leaves and flowers will be our hunt!) and leaving that out too and of course the biggest and most exciting is having a Family Christmas Box! I will also be having a "Christmas Eve" box for our little boy to open on Christmas Eve, which might be a seperate post, this will include things for Christmas Day itself but the Family Christmas Box will include lots of things to use over the month of December!
Traditionally I would love to open the Family Christmas Box on December 1st but I have decided that we will open it the night we decorate the Christmas Tree as it will include our Family PJs so it will be so fun to wear them the night we decorate the tree as a family!
Inside our Family Christmas Box::
~Matching family Christmas PJ's
~Santa's Magic Key book
~Santa and elf hats
Christmas outfit for Wolfie
Cute Santa socks
Elf on the shelf
A Christmas Book to read - Peter Rabbit: A Christmas wish book
USB of Christmas movies
Since filming our little package of joy I have also added a few extra things
A collar and small toy for Daisy (our puppy!)
& Christmas Cookie Cutters
DEAR MAMA TO BE //
I feel your heart from where i am. I know you're being strong.
You're trying to hide your scared eyes and yearning for the media to be wrong.
You find yourself hiding away in your home. You long for a world that is safe.
To bring your baby into this world, but right now feels its just not the case.
Your shower is cancelled or maybe your plans to catch up with family and friends.
To love & to laugh, have them fawn over you and feel babies kicks with their hands.
Your baby moon is off & your birth plan amended to account for the new rules laid down.
You know its for your safety & your babies sweet life but you cant help but feel so let down.
Your body is growing this little human, so long awaited & there’s no possible chance you can pause.
The world is still turning & days are all passing with fear and unknown behind every door.
This moment was yours, this time in your life to enjoy all the good times to come.
The weeks before you become a mama where all of your heart & attention is diverted from your lives to their one.
But that is all dimmed & now locked away in your house where you distance yourself from the world.
Attending appointments alone or worse on the phone, what used to be joyful, all now feels so cold.
But you will get through this, this time in your journey, finding an unknown strength you have got.
Your baby will come right into this world & this world as you know it will stop.
The moments you spend gazing at them, hearing giggles and counting their little toes.
You wont even notice the world will melt away with all of its worries & all of its woes.
Take a deep breath in & remember you have more gumption and grace than any of this overwhelming fear.
No matter the state of the world & its grieving. You need not let that grief in here.
Don’t fret or be scared in this moment sweet mama. We're all in this together you know.
That through thick & thin we will do this together and through all of these hard times we will grow.
When all this is over & the sun comes in shining, we'll know in our hearts how far we've come.
I hear you, i see you, i am you beautiful mama we can get through this together as one.
It's that time of year again!
The most wonderful time of the year is here and with it a divine selection of gift ideas from yours truly.
Who doesn't love getting jewelry for Christmas? These pendants are so elegantly simple with the added bonus of being personal.
Pretty, personal, perfection!
This is the top thing on my list with a "W" to signify the arrival of my beautiful little boy.
MATCHING CHRISTMAS PJS
Show your Christmas spirit in a set of super cute PJs! Target has this gorgeous wrapping paper style print in PJs for the whole family! I know what will be in our Christmas Box!
How could I not include my favorite cup!
I absolutely adore my Luxey Cup, and with so many colours, sizes and styles to choose from, you're bound to find your perfect match.
SHAMPOO WITH A PURPOSE
I am loving these shampoo bars! Not only are they are Australian owned and made, but they're also vegan and environmentally friendly! With a shampoo bar to suit any hair type I just love how clean my fine hair feels and stays after washing, Shampoo With A Purpose is the perfect gift for the more eco-conscious beauties out there. Perfect for Kris Kringle or Stocking Stuffers.
The perfect gift to keep bub comfy and make it super easy to keep your pram clean and chic.
These Audrey & Me pram liners come in super cute and customizable designs to suit every Mum & Bub!
NOTE: Eeeek!! Ours just arrived in the mail! I could not resist sharing this with you!
We got reversible with "FOREST FRIENDS" on one side & "HAMPTONS" on the other!!!
A must-have for every beach Mama, this cart is great for keeping all your things together on those sandy dunes, picnic playdate or the farmers market and makes it super easy to get there!
LUXE SILK PJs
For someone wanting a little more luxe, you can't go past these fabulous silk PJs. The exquisite satin feel is like butter on your skin, these dreamy jams are just gorgeous, beautifully cut in a classic PJ 2 piece and seriously the most delish feeling against your skin and available in Blush, White and Stone!
The Breville Oracle Espresso Machine is the perfect people pleaser for coffee lovers and their guests alike! Satisfy your coffee cravings with a barista style coffee at home. I hope santa leaves this under my tree! *wink wink husband!*
The most perfect carry all bag. Created in a divine full grain look leather. This tote is the perfect every day bag. Easy to throw a few things in and go. Perfect for lunch dates, work days and on the go and extra perfect with an added bag organiser inside to double as a nappy bag!
Packing for hospital can be a little overwhelming. Not just because when you're around 35 weeks and you still haven't packed you're not sure if it's still to soon or maybe you should have done it ages ago. The whole not knowing when you're going into labour can be a weird limbo. I definitely recommend packing earlier rather than later. Put it all to one side in a bag and just tick off your list of things that are in there so if you go into labour early then you can (hopefully) quickly grab those remaining items you need before jumping in the car!
My labour progressed quite quickly but the contractions were fairly bearable up until about halfway through the car ride, so i did have a bit of time to pack everything I needed but as it goes we forgot plenty! Or at least I had forgotten where I had put things in the bag. Even though I was crazy organised I thought I left my phone charger but it was in my camera bag ("Electronics"!) and we totally forgot the birthing ball, but the hospital had one. The candles I had packed Robbie (husband) didn't see and he was trying to work the candles that were left in the birthing suite... They didnt work. But my Birth Story and Adventure, well, that's for another day! But ultimately whatever you forget you will make do. The hospital generally can provide what you forgot until you can find or get what you need.
Because we were unsure if we would be staying at the hospital when we first arrived (I had no idea how far along i was!). We left the suitcase in the car and just brought the birthing bag. I think this worked out well because we weren’t overwhelmed and carrying things in that were just for the birth. Particularly helpful if you’re bringing your own birth ball (so much to carry!). The only thing I didn’t pack was a onsie in the birth bag for baby to wear after birth! These were in the suitcase so I’ve popped it on the birth bag list!
BIRTH:: Packing a separate birth bag gives you a less stressful experience when trying to find things you need. I definitely recommend going through this bags contents with your birth partner because it’s likely you will be sending them to grab everything out!
SUITCASE:: A wheelie suitcase is the best way to bring everything in for your stay. I used a carryon size with 2 separate halves (one for bub, one for mama!) I also used packing cubes to separate categories (nappy changes, Baby clothes, Mamas PJ’s and comfy clothes etc.) and then within the cubes used Ziplock bags to separate little outfits (onesie, hat, mittens) for baby!
Pre prepare anything for your birth announcement (if you’re doing one) like Welcome plaque or outfit and put their separately too. If adding a name to the plaque add a pen to write with in there as well.
Birth Plan/Preferences – Your birthing wishes are such an important part of the process. Things simply cannot be planned but having your preferences can help your birth team navigate your ideal birth.
Hospital “Blue Book” (or the likes) – The book or paperwork you receive when you begin visiting your hospital of choice.
Battery operated candles
Headphones/ear pods/Speaker & playlist – We had a speaker as well as earpods so I could play relaxing meditation music but have my birth affirmations in headphones
Laminated Affirmations/Birth Prompts – Laminated means they will stand out and easy to find in your bag. Also waterproof!
Heat packs/ Water bottle
Swimwear (if water birthing)
Bra/Underwear (stretchy & comfortable)
Dress/Nighty or Robe for labour
Snacks for Both You & Partner – I packed so much thinking we would be there for hours in labour (we weren’t labouring long!) but they ended up being great for the hospital stay
Water bottle + Straw – A straw allows you to stay in your zone and not have to think about tilting your head or moving.
Juice poppers &/or Coconut water! – Sugars & Electrolytes
Lip balm – Necessary! Your lips can get so dry, especially with dehyration
Essential oils (If allowed) – A lot of birthing suites don’t allow clary sage but you can bring lavender for calm and relaxation or a peppermint for alertness. There is also rules around having a diffuser so make sure you check with your hospital. I took a few cotton balls to soak a little oil in and hold to my nose!
Onesie for baby upon arrival!
Birthing Ball – If it is your preference to use one! (Great for opening up the pelvis and getting baby into a good position! The hospital does have a few but if you’re set on having one its best to take your own
! x Pair Comfy Pjs (feeding friendly) – Classic pants and shirt PJs are great with buttons!
1 x Nighty (feeding friendly)- I bought a really stretchy oversized soft cotton nighty which was perfect
1 x Comfy Robe – I got a leopard print nighty and robe in case of any unwanted stains would be hidden!
2 x Nursing or Regular Singlet – I found that just regular stretch singlets were great, Im not a lover of bras when Im trying to sleep (even the soft ones in nursing singlets) but I lived in THESE for the first 6 weeks PP.
1 x Cardigan or Jumper – Something cosy but not too bulky so you can sleep in it if you need a little extra warmth but also can feed in it
1 x black tights – Black tights and Singlets became my mum uniform for the first 6 weeks It was Winter so I added a cute coatigan (long cardigan) so I would always be comfy enough to sleep in it but if someone arrived at the house or we had someone over for tea I was still reasonably dressed for 3pm in the afternoon! I just purchased 2 cheap pairs of THESE
1 x track pants - Warmth
6 x Black knickers (high waisted)
2 x pairs socks – Especially in hospital it can get a little chilly!
1-2 soft stretchy or maternity crops – I loved the triangle pull aside crops But the clasp bras are great too.
Going home outfit – Make sure its feeding friendly and something you feel beautiful in!
Shoes for going home – because the shoes you arrive in in the throws of labour may not be ideal!
Thongs for shower
Shampoo/Conditioner – That first time you wash your hair post labour is like an island holiday!
Shower Gel & loofah – Something natural without harsh chemicals and something that smells divine. I love (Love this one - https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/813638/?googleshop=true&store_code=woolworths_supermarkets_2512&cmpid=smsm:ds:GOOGLE:Woolies_8458_BAU_Shopping_LIA_All_WW-0001:PRODUCT_GROUP&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5aGo6ObW6wIVViUrCh15QAqWEAQYASABEgIc9PD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)
Face Moisturiser – I was completely obsessed with Rosehip oil during and post pregnancy. I lathered it on twice a day and it made me feel hydrated and human!
1 Pack Maternity Pads – Have 1 pack in your suitcase but also 2-3 packs waiting for you at home!
1 Pack Depends Disposable underwear – Trust me! These are amazing! Comfortable on stitches or C-section wounds but also comfortable after all that has gone on “down there!” – I would wear these with a pad inside for extra protection and just change the pad regularly and underwear as needed.
Lansinoh Nipple Ointment – Amazing! Pure lanolin so safe for baby to suck on (don’t have to wash off before feeding) I also got a REALLY dry nose in hospital and would use this on my nose and lips.
Spray Bottle or PUMP bottle – To spray your privates while weeing, either that or a quick shower after each loo visit.
Reusable Bamboo breast pads – These are fantastic for when your milk comes in! Don’t want to ruin an outfit!
Haemorrhoid cream – If you’re having a natural labour you may need it! You don’t want to be caught without it if you do need it!
Car seat Installed – Definitely worth installing your car seat from about 36weeks pregnant! You can DIY install or usually baby stores or mechanics can do it for a small fee
3-4 x New born Onesies – My little man was 3.3kg and was in 00000 for quite a while– I recommend taking a few in 2 different sizes depending on how your baby is tracking weight wise! If unsure bottoms and tops will generally fit more sizes/lengths! Also keep in mind the fit of a 00000 will differ from store to store (eg Bonds Onesies are LARGE! Kmart I found to be regular, Seed was fairly average, Best and Less are large but their Baby Berry range is smaller)
2 x Singlets – Particularly for winter babies to wear under onesies
Going home outfit – Something cute and comfortable
20x NB Nappies – Generally 7-12 Nappies a day in the early days
1 pack water wipes – I love these because they are 99% water and only 1% essential oil
1 x Warm Blanket
1 pair Booties/Socks
1 pair Mittens
1 x Beanie
2 x Bamboo/Cotton Swaddles – Swaddling in the early days is fantastic, I also love the Love to Dream Sleeping bags.
Soft Toy (optional) – We love out little Jellycat Bunny (https://www.davidjones.com/brand/jellycat)
Phone & charger – An extra long cord is great if you can get one, so you can stay in bed on your phone!
Wallet (Cash, Change, Id, Medicare Card)
Camera, Charger & SD card – Make sure you have all batteries charged and an extra SD card
Cosy Pillow & or Blanket – Something that feels like home and makes you feel cosy
Travel Coffee Cup - The little Styrofoam cups just don’t quite cut it
Breast Shields (optional)
Ice packs – Nipple and Perineum icepacks are a godsend
iPad & charger – Great for video chats and watching Netflix
Clothes for Dad/Birth Partner – Don’t forget a warm jumper for the air conditioning
Swimwear for Dad/Partner (Waterbirth)
CLICK THE IMAGES ABOVE TO GO TO PURCHASE
SUPRE Black Leggings (2 for $20, Bargain!) / APPLE Air Pods / KMART 3 Pack Ultra Smooth Seamfree Hi-Cut Briefs / BRONTE Wet Bag / KMART Seam Free Cami / LANSINOH Nipple Balm / SCHMIDTS Rose + Vanilla Natural Deodorant Stick / BONDS Wire Free Maternity Bra / WATER WIPES / Announcement Plaques / JELLYCAT Bunny /
Also check out my blog 5 Things To Know Before Labour
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Sometimes in life we need a little reset. We tend to go through life and the motions of it without being fully aware or present in the direction we’re heading. Every now and then I find myself feeling a little bit lacklustre, like I’ve lost my direction or purpose. Ultimately I do believe that we’ll get to where we want to be or where we should be eventually but I am a huge believer in manifesting what we want our future to look like and living consciously in taking the steps to get there. That’s why I love answering these questions to help me get clear on where I am at in my life, where I want to be and what is truly most important to me. Each season of my life these things will shift and change and new achievements and directions might then set me on a completely new path or even just a slightly different trajectory.
I've out together a little guide to help you on your way to get a little clarity and motivation towards your life goals.
Grab your guide HERE
You're starting to get that thrill, the excitement of your baby soon to arrive but also a little niggling of fear and doubt as to how your baby is going to arrive.
I've had some beautiful women ask me how I prepared for labour and birth. Having shared so many of this with close friends who are about to give birth I wanted to share this with you too in hopes it may help you in some small way!
A few things I found incredibly helpful and a few things I wish I had have known before
1. REST WHEN YOU CAN
Get as much rest before birth and labour as you can but the biggest thing I would stress is sleep as soon as you can after labour.
It's so hard because there's so much adrenaline and excitement coursing through your body. But post birth your new baby is going to be exhausted after that big journey into the big world and they will sleep. Turn off your phone because all the well wishes will be there as soon as you wake up. If you don't get a good stretch of sleep post birth it's likely you may not get a good sleep for a long time.
It's really important for recovery and healing to get good rest and sleep and this is a good time! Which brings me to my next point
2. TAKE TIME FOR HEALING
No matter how your baby comes into the world you are going to have to heal.
Be kind to yourself and don't over do it. Be it a vaginal birth or c section your body has been through battle and its important to remember that even though you're looking after your new human, your body is going through some HUGE healing. So take it easy! Just because you've left the hospital does not mean you're ok to run around at home. You still need bed rest and time for your body to heal.
3. PREPARE FOR LABOUR
You can't plan for labour but you can prepare.
So many people kept telling me that you can't prepare for labour. To an extent I believe you can't plan it. But you can absolutely prepare for it. Education is so important when it comes to anything for me, particularly a journey like birth. You enter the hospital as a woman and leave a mama. It's like this incredible right of passage and it's a battle within those walls that you have to fight and win. And you will! Preparing for the fight, I think, was incredibly beneficial to me. Learning about pain management, the different stages of labour, your preferences for both you and baby.
Whilst I was still met with some big challenges, having knowledge around labour helped my husband and I make calculated decisions in the heat of the moment and also doing lots of work on breath and meditation in the lead up allowed me to relax and be in my body for the (majority!) of my labour! I worked with an amazing woman, Nicola Laye, who I met when I took her pregnancy pilates class in my last trimester (helping baby get in optimal position and learning birthing positions) she also specialises in breath and meditation and I worked with her coaching me in birth and breath during the last months of pregnancy during multiple sessions releasing fears, preparing and learning. She also mentored me during my labour (at 1am in the morning!) and it really helped to ground me and relax. She offers some really incredible breathing classes and workshops for pregnant and non pregnant women and couples! You can read more about her offerings here: https://www.nicolalaye.com
4. BIRTHING WISHES
A birth plan isn't about planning your birth, you simply can't plan it. But it's about educating yourself on your options and expressing your wishes or preferences for your birth. From pain management to environmental elements your wishes can be met to a certain extent. I found it so valuable to educate myself on all the ways labour can go. I loved listening to Australian Birth Stories podcast to hear all the ways women birth. It's not for everyone, some women feel the fear more when they hear bad stories but for me education and knowledge is power. Learning what can go wrong isn't to scare you, its empowering to understand the terms and procedures and what roads might lead to where. What practices you can implement if your birth doesn't go to plan and also knowing what's possible and your rights and options within the space you have chosen whether it be hospital, birth centre or home-birth.
I planned and wanted to give birth at the hospital, particularly for my first baby because it's where I felt my baby would be safest, should anything be wrong (a personal feeling and the right one for me). I found the hospital very flexible in regards to my wishes. Even though I had researched and requested quite a few wishes there wasn't any that were not met (including delayed cord clamping which is now standard practice, a calm, dark and quiet environment, the use of water as pain management in birthing pool and shower etc) usually around 28 weeks you discuss your birth plan with your midwife but there is so many great resources available online to help you write yours.
Also it's great to go through your birth preferences and plan with your birth partner so they can advocate for you.
5. PACKING FOR HOSPITAL
Have TWO seperate bags for the hospital - a birthing bag and a hospital bag - and go through your birthing bag with your birth partner and explain what each item is for. (I spent part of early labour kicking myself for not having batteries in my faux candles, turns out rob was using someone else's left in the birth suite 🤣) I've put together a list of my must haves for hospital and labour. Everyone swears by different items but this is a list of my essentials including a few must haves. HERE
*NOTE* - To a Friend, That's You, Mama to Be...
Birth and labour is such an incredible journey, no matter how your baby arrives into this world the ultimate goal is to get them here safely. Empowering yourself with the tools to take it on can give you a wider view and more confidence in your journey no matter what that journey entails. Birthing my son has been the most incredibly empowering and courageous thing I have ever done. The female body is beyond incredible and women have been giving life for thousands of years. Our bodies were designed for it, the biggest piece of advice is to trust yourself, trust your body and listen to it. treat it kindly pre and post birth and surround yourself with all the loving vibes. You've got this mama, I believe in you!
I'd love to hear if you have any extra helpful tips or comments you have that might help make the next Mama to Be's journey just a little bit better or easier! Please leave any special words of advice in the comments!
Celebration in the Sky.
Celebrating the impending arrival of a sweet bundle of joy has to be one of lifes greatest parties! We wanted to keep the gender of our baby a surprise (for us and the world!) so we creeated the perfect gender neutral baby shower with an "Up in The Sky" theme. With a palette of soft blue, white with a mix of neutrals with a pop of Gelato colours in the balloon garlands. Featuring soft white roses, dried florals and leaves with the added fun of our colourful “Hot Air Balloon” cake table, hot air balloon lanterns and fluffy white clouds! Such a fun way to celebrate amongst the clouds!
Captured beautifully by the amazing Kaitlin Maree Photography, each little element came together so beautifully. It's amazing how it can be so easy to create a really beautiful expensive looking themed event with a little thought and preparation. The key for me (being rather pregnant and of course being a host) was to have everything as ready as possible ahead of time (ays or weeks ahead) so that it could all just come together on the day. It was a week and a day of crazy rain so we were very grateful to have some amazing helpers (brothers, husbands and friends) help on the morning.
We created centrepieces from faux flowers and dried pampas, bunny tails and a few sprigs of dried wheat which I think set the scene beautifully. This meant that on the day they were ready to pop on the table and I didn't have to worry about running around for fresh flowers. Propping them up on top of these centrepiece stands (which can be purchased on eBay in gold) I spray painted these white to match the theme. I wanted a bit more of a formal seating arrangement so we had cute little place cards made with little wooden clouds on each plate. (matching white plates purchased from Kmart for a bargain at 75cents!) The table cloths are also from Kmart and were perfect as they were extra large with a linen like texture and their length and width meant they cascaded beautifully to the floor. Chair covers really can tie the entire look together and give a uniform and blank canvas for the theme and table setting to just POP! They can be hired relatively cheaply from a Party Hire and we went with the amazing Elite Weddings and Events who have such a great range and cater to small and large events!
The gorgeous Sky Themed cake was created by ever amazing The Sweet Society Co and all were just as incredibly delish as it looks!!!! The cake looked absolutely perfect underneath our gorgeous HOT AIR BALLOON! This was created with an extra large round wicker basket, a few wooden dowels from Bunnings and a gorgeous Gelato balloon arrangement put together by my sister in law & I!
A little drink station put together by my mama with a little Signature Cocktail of hers (alcoholic and virgin available!) kept us all smiling. Add in some champagne and bottled water (all essential for any event really!) My amazing bestie put together some fun party games and event favours of delish Melting Moment cookies in little cloud themed gift boxes. They were so cute and all the ladies loved taking a little taste home.
My hair and makeup was done by the ever amazing Bella Brides! Unfortunately the rain and humidity did nothing nice for my hair but the makeup stayed put ALL DAY! Given I was 29 Weeks pregnant these ladies somehow made me feel like a total queen. And of course my little sequin dress was Begitta, I love this dress created in our Soleil fabric with a soft nude underlay. It showed off my bump and I felt like a rockstar!
I absolutely love an event! I love planning and creating a mood board, I love dreaming up how to style a space and adding fun DIY ideas. So when it came to my baby shower that I had been dreaming up for so long I knew I would have the time of m life with the theme. After being so ill throughout my whole pregnancy I felt I had lost some of that excitement and joy that I had expected during what I had anticipated would be a beautiful blooming time for me! So my best friend and I planned it together so I could find some joy in putting together the celebration and it was such a beautiful day amongst all the women I hold most dear!
Special thanks to some incredible people who helped make this day amazing - all the amazing women and brothers/husband who assisted on the day
Photography: Kaitlin Maree Photography
Hair and Makeup: Bella Brides
Cake & Tarts: The Sweet Society Co
Chair Covers: Elite Weddings and Events
,A long awaited story of our journey to our double lines! If I am honest, I was a bit apprehensive to share our story with the world, I was scared that something might go wrong or it would all be too good to be true. But now I am so excited to share this little glimpse of our journey.
Growing up I always dreamed of having a beautiful little family. I've always wanted 3 kids. So funny when you’re 13 and you picture your life, I wanted to have met the love of my life by 21, be married at 23 & have 3 kids by 28 with a house. HA! Well at 23 I dove into the world of business. I worked as a freelance stylist until I could save enough to follow my passion to Paris to study Fashion, Specifically Haute Couture (High Fashion). Which I did with a short stint studying in London as well. I made my way home and started my business. Since then I have worked endlessly creating my dream world in business. Working with some incredible people and along the way met and married my Prince Charming in our dream wedding, on a beautiful September day, fit for a story book! Now In my early 30s that 13 year olds idea of life was a bit off, but trusting the timing of my life has worked out pretty well so far!
My beautiful husband Robbie and I wanted kids straight away. We wanted a honeymoon baby and to start building our family as quick as we could. Rob wants 4! Eeek!
Our honeymoon was amazing and to be honest we thought we would get pregnant fairly quickly. Don’t we all! I haven’t ever taken contraception, I am relatively active and eat well and healthily and I don’t drink much. For some of the lucky ones it does just happen in one month but for us it seems, we weren’t those people.
In the first few months of our marriage we opened a business with my parents. I became the worlds greatest juggler running both my successful business and helping to build up a new one. We worked our butts off, dealing with both business and family issues. A long road we had not foreseen would be quite so rocky. Months went by and each and every month when my monthly cycle would reveal itself I was disappointed. At first Rob was a bit confused that it didn’t just happen. I knew that it would likely take maybe a few months. But each month got harder and harder as what felt like a lifetime went by.
I prepared my body by nourishing it with good food, prenatal vitamins, I stopped drinking alcohol completely, I visited the naturopath and took herbs to ensure a regular cycle. I eliminated toxins in our house and made all natural cleaning sprays (chemicals can mimic hormones in our body! Did you know that?). I began to track my cycle with ovulation kits and ensuring I knew when our fertile period was. I was doing everything right, or at least I thought I was. But each month when my period arrived I was so disappointed. The first few months I expected it but as time went on I got really down. Each month Rob would say something supportive; “it’s not our time”, “try not to overthink it”. Trying not to overthink it while doing everything right is like trying to drive a car blindfolded.
The year began to roll by, February, March, April…. May, June,… Nothing. Plenty of phantom signs of pregnancy. Sore breasts, campiness, headaches. People would make comments. Family and friends who knew we wanted to start a family would mention babies and I would feel pretty useless. Beginning to doubt my body and my abilities as a woman. You really don’t want to let those feelings in but boy do they infiltrate your heart and mind. I ran into a girl I went to school with a few grades below me, pregnant and beautiful and glowing. I said Hi and was genuinely happy for her. But the moment I turned away from that conversation I had tears in my eyes. I wanted it so bad. July came and went and I basically just said “Fuck it” I don’t even think I want this anymore. I have big plans for the next 3 years of my life and business and a baby isn’t going to fit anyway! HA!
Robbie and I had some holiday time in August available to us. I wanted a holiday that we didn’t have to think about anything. Just eat, drink and enjoy sun and sand. So we booked a cruise to get away from life for awhile.
We had an amazing time, I threw all my cares out the window. I drank too many cocktails and ate all the glorious foods and desserts. We nearly got left on an island because we hiked up a mountain Rob was desperate to scale (after a $70 steak it was the last thing I wanted to do!). We met some really lovely people and had a lovely trip. Until the last 2 days sailing home! It was 4-4.5meter waves and I was sick as a dog! I don’t really get seasick usually but our room was at the front of the boat and boy I got hit hard.
Upon returning home I was still walking with a sway for a week. I was suffering from vertigo and had a headache and vomiting about a week later. Then thankfully the sea-legs wore off a little but something still felt off.
I woke up early one Monday morning (Rob Usually sleeps in till late on a Monday because he works nights Thursday-Sunday). At this point my period was a day late but I really didn’t think much of it. I decided I would do a test. I had a few cheap eBay test (like 30 of them! HA!) so I used one of those. I showered, brushed my teeth and hair and washed my face. I was about to walk out of the bathroom when I remembered the test.
I took a quick look… What?! No…. Theres a REALLY faint line there! By this point I knew that any line even small as a positive can be a positive especially in early pregnancy. I took it outside into the sunlight, I kept saying to myself don’t get excited. It’s a false positive. Or it’s your eyes. I really didn’t want to be let down yet again. Especially when last month I had literally had said “FCUK it all! So I dipped a First Response (a real test I said in my head) and there it was 3 minutes later. An unmistakable second line. Darker than dark. There-r than there! I cried. I danced. I didn’t want to believe it.
I took my time to breath. I looked at myself in the mirror, looked in my eyes and said out loud “You’re pregnant”… “We’re pregnant”! I really could not believe my own words.
So I sort of floundered around… I actually felt like I was having an out of body experience. I wanted to laugh, cry, run to Rob and jump on the bed. But No. I had to tell him in a special way. So I put together a little box. Inside the box I put a little romper suit (I had purchased because it was adorable, even if a little pre-emptive!) the pregnancy test, a little handkerchief for happy tears and I wrote on the inside of the lid “Hello Daddy”. I then sat around for what felt like years until he woke up. Ok Ok I jumped on the bed a few times to wake him and tried to get him up. Between trying to wake him up I made myself a tea and some toast and the FINALLY he was awake! I hid my camera and made him come into the room where I said I had an early Wedding Anniversary present. He opened it and I think he was a bit awestruck. We hugged and we just so over the moon excited.
Have a peek at this little video - I secretly filmed telling Robbie, I cry every time I watch it!
The beautiful thing was we were to celebrate our Wedding Anniversary that weekend! Such an exciting thing to share joy in over a weekend Celebrating a BIG year!
In hindsight a year really wasn’t the longest time to hope to conceive. I know that for many couples it can take years and years. But the entire journey has truly opened my eyes to how hard the ‘Trying to Conceive’ (TTC) journey can be. For all the women going through that monthly roller coaster cycle. The ups the downs the optimism, hope and excitement shortly followed by disappointment, doubt, shame, sadness. I want to say to those women that I am here. To support you and to understand how incredibly hard that is. My story isn’t as hard as some but it certainly took me on a journey I was not prepared for. I am so grateful we have been so blessed and honoured to be able to conceive and I have been able to carry a child. We’re so excited to be parents!
- Our Family Christmas Snaps -
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